You know, the world’s twelve thousand years old and dinosaurs existed, and existed in that time, you’d think it would been mentioned in the fucking Bible at some point:

And O, Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus… with a splinter in its paw. And the disciples did run a-screamin’. “What a big fucking lizard, Lord!”

“I’m sure gonna mention this in my book,” Luke said. > “Well, I’m sure gonna mention it in my book,” Matthew said.

But Jesus was unafraid. And he took the splinter from the brontosaurus paw, and the brontosaurus became his friend. And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch, O so many years, attracting fat American families with their fat fuckin’ dollars to look for the Loch Ness Monster. And O the Scots did praise the Lord: “Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!”

– Bill Hicks